Eat to Live NOT Live to Eat

Weight loss and Living

Eat to live NOT Live to Eat

on December 30, 2013

My goal for this blog is to help me track my journey through weight loss using Plexus Slim and help me change my relationship with food in general.  My hope is that the Plexus will help me gain a more normal appetite and learn to eat to live and not live to eat.  What does that mean?  It means that too much of the focus of my life has been food.

I have had a weight problem since I was about 12 years old.  I took a trip to Charleston, SC, and spent three weeks in an unfamiliar place with people I thought I knew well, but didn’t, and I was unable to cope with all the emotions that came of that trip.  I began to use food, during that trip and after, to soothe myself, control my world, and smother my own feelings of doubt, anger and hurt.  I did not turn to God in prayer most of the time, even though I knew that is what would be the best help, which made me loathe myself even more. Yes, loathe.  I did not like myself, but not because I was fat.  I thought myself unworthy because I could not control my myself.  I could not make any lasting change in my life.  I had been told over and over by very well meaning people that I could control myself. One of the fruits of the Spirit is self control.  How could I call myself a Christian when I couldn’t gain this fruit?  If I couldn’t gain this one, then did I truly possess any fruit?  If I had not fruit, then I was not truly a Christian.  Do you see the rabbit hole I was falling into? It wasn’t pretty.

I struggle with this still today, although I now have tools that help me with my struggle.  I am no longer being beaten over the head with my lack, but rather I am being given a healing balm to help me become Christ.  Food remains my issue, though.  I still find myself hiding my sweets, eating secretly, and giving food priority over God, my family and my own well being.  I have decided to stop ignoring this problem and deal with it in many ways.  Through fasting and abstinence, using The Church’s discipline, I will deny my stomach what it wants twice a week. Through the Sacrament of Confession and Eucharist, I find healing for my heart and soul and mind. I hope that the Plexus will teach me how to listen to my body and eat when I am truly hungry not because I am emotional.

My ultimate goals are to choose the good, not the convenient, to learn to enjoy life in other ways besides eating and to lose 135 pounds.  I will attain these goals not because I am perfect, but because I am willing to change and to be healed.

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2 responses to “Eat to live NOT Live to Eat

  1. Mom says:

    Angela thank you for trusting me to read this. I believe you are truly in the road to all that is good for you and your family and I will pray to that end and do whatever I can to support you in your journey. I am going to have Brenda add you to her group too. I love you.

  2. Thanks, Mom. Love you, too!

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