Eat to Live NOT Live to Eat

Weight loss and Living

Into the 3rd week….

I am now into my third week of using Plexus.  I have seen some wonderful results!  I have lost almost 6 pounds (5.8), I have lost 16 and a half inches and I have seen my blood sugar readings even out and stay under 130 about 90% of the time.  I have had only two fasting readings over 130 and I think it was because  I was unwell during the night.  I haven’t these kinds of numbers since I was pregnant with Joel and no, I am not pregnant.  I am also using less insulin.  Usually, by the 14th of the month, I am down to my last vial of insulin instead I still have a whole vial and 2/3 left of 5 vials.  I really believe that this product can help me lose the weight and feel better and have better health!

I feel as though I need to wait to share my enthusiasm though.  I want to lose 15 pounds before I begin to tell people how great this product is and I want to be careful how I share.  I do not want to turn anyone off to Plexus because I was overzealous.  I am hoping that my friend, Angela, will try it out.  I think it will help her as it is helping me.

I have also come up against emotional eating these last few days.  I am still trying to let go of a situation with my homeschool group that truly requires me to NOT be in control.  It is so hard to let go of control.  It is so hard to take things off my plate!  I know I need to take things off so that I can focus on the boys and their education and well being, but I am having such a hard time! Every time I am faced with that prospect, I eat too much.  Ugh.   I believe the only answer for this is to let go and say the Jesus Prayer, a lot.  To pray more and keep my focus on Christ, which will redirect my whole way of thinking.  St. Angelina, pray for me.

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Eat to live NOT Live to Eat

My goal for this blog is to help me track my journey through weight loss using Plexus Slim and help me change my relationship with food in general.  My hope is that the Plexus will help me gain a more normal appetite and learn to eat to live and not live to eat.  What does that mean?  It means that too much of the focus of my life has been food.

I have had a weight problem since I was about 12 years old.  I took a trip to Charleston, SC, and spent three weeks in an unfamiliar place with people I thought I knew well, but didn’t, and I was unable to cope with all the emotions that came of that trip.  I began to use food, during that trip and after, to soothe myself, control my world, and smother my own feelings of doubt, anger and hurt.  I did not turn to God in prayer most of the time, even though I knew that is what would be the best help, which made me loathe myself even more. Yes, loathe.  I did not like myself, but not because I was fat.  I thought myself unworthy because I could not control my myself.  I could not make any lasting change in my life.  I had been told over and over by very well meaning people that I could control myself. One of the fruits of the Spirit is self control.  How could I call myself a Christian when I couldn’t gain this fruit?  If I couldn’t gain this one, then did I truly possess any fruit?  If I had not fruit, then I was not truly a Christian.  Do you see the rabbit hole I was falling into? It wasn’t pretty.

I struggle with this still today, although I now have tools that help me with my struggle.  I am no longer being beaten over the head with my lack, but rather I am being given a healing balm to help me become Christ.  Food remains my issue, though.  I still find myself hiding my sweets, eating secretly, and giving food priority over God, my family and my own well being.  I have decided to stop ignoring this problem and deal with it in many ways.  Through fasting and abstinence, using The Church’s discipline, I will deny my stomach what it wants twice a week. Through the Sacrament of Confession and Eucharist, I find healing for my heart and soul and mind. I hope that the Plexus will teach me how to listen to my body and eat when I am truly hungry not because I am emotional.

My ultimate goals are to choose the good, not the convenient, to learn to enjoy life in other ways besides eating and to lose 135 pounds.  I will attain these goals not because I am perfect, but because I am willing to change and to be healed.